Wednesday, May 23, 2007

wildflower excursions




New photos! These were taken on the University of Texas campus. The tree was at the bridge by San Jacinto going west and toward the running track.

The flowers are part of the Blanton Museum grounds near where I work at MLK, Jr. Blvd. So nice of them to let that portion of their grounds be all wildflowers!

Monday, May 21, 2007

Identity

Identity. What is it? Things you tell yourself about who you are? What other people have told you? What you learned as a child? How do we form our identities and then depend on them so much to get us through?

What stories do you tell yourself about who you are? What aspects make you feel "good" about yourself and what aspects make you feel "bad," ie, things you like and things you don't like.

Why are we identified with those roles, self-images, pictures of ourselves, unless something happens to us which make us question them?

I'm not the strong, silent, independent person I thought I was, and yet I'm stronger in a different way, and self-reliant, and yet also can remember the me that feels weak, that feels like whining, that feels dependent upon someone to take care of me. These are all inside, but the exact combination of "strong" that I used to think I was, is no more. There is no need for it, because I've learned that it is a fake "strong." It was a "strong" based on how it looked on the outside, based on how others looked on the outside, based on being a certain way and looking a certain way. That shell has long cracked and a more fluid sense of self has emerged instead.

Could that be what they're talking about in The Hidden Side of Happiness: Pleasure only gets you so far. A rich, rewarding life often requires a messy battle with adversity, in Psychology Today online (see Favorite Links).

This article was thought-provoking, because I didn't expect pop psychology to address what seems the antithesis of pop psychology - a situation where there are no easy answers. An experience, a concept more similar to a spiritual experience or a philosophy than a "scientific" study. But oh, so liberating....

It reminded me of about 10 different books I have read and several workshops I have participated in.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

doldrums and what Grandfather would say

...doldrums time of year .... school's out (at least for university) ... but not quite time for summer session .... and my birthday's nearing and as my anticipation is overcome by anxiety at not having it be just that certain way that I want it to be, I remember the words of my old Grandfather .....

Okay, that's made up but not the part about my inner deal with wanting it to be a certain way vs. giving up and trying to make the best of it on my own ....

... but what would Grandfather say to me if he could? Well, my make-believe Grandfather would say: "the world is my oyster." No, that was my Father-in-law. Grandfather would say to neither be swayed by praise nor criticism, but hold to the middle way, the way of moderation, or something like that. (My Grandfather would have deep Eastern religious roots.) Anyway, that's what really works for me, because I sometimes feel like a lost balloon that goes floating along in the sky all around the town -- it's lots of fun while I'm out there exploring, but hell to pay when it's time to find my way home again.

Or alternately, I could imagine being pulled this way and that, like taffy, til I'm finally pulled too thin. And then I have to spend some time reconstituting myself with sugar and some TLC.

But right now, let's go with the balloon imagery. It satisfies something inside me that would really like to do that right now. The dirty dishes can wait!

Just imagine looking out the window and seeing a red balloon flying away up high in the sky. That'll be me.

Friday, May 4, 2007

how the political is personal


http://www.salon.com/news/feature/2007/05/04/gop_debate/print.html


excerpt from Make room for Daddy

At the Reagan Library, the GOP's 2008 contenders compete for the Gipper's mantle -- and for the title of Most Macho.

By Michael Scherer

May. 04, 2007 | Ten Republican men gathered on a stage Thursday night to pound their chests. Each of them looked tough. Each talked tough. Each tried to be the alpha dog, the real-deal decider, the next Ronald Reagan....
... It was hard to miss the point. Republicans have a different code than Democrats. Liberals elect leaders with finesse and style, men or women who can inspire, who can seek out the truth and lead the nation there. When the Democratic presidential candidates debated last week, the front-runners were modest and reasonable and calm. Republicans, on the other hand, elect father figures, men who will never flinch and will always lay down the law. The candidates came out swinging.

Eight years ago, President George W. Bush looked as though he would pass this test. But he turned out to be a ninny. He led the conservative movement into a period of decadence and decline. He revealed the limits of American power by sending the nation into a losing foreign war. So the Grand Old Party has reached back to the past, to Ronald Reagan, the great California cowboy who never sweated the details. The Republican primary has become, in many ways, a fatherhood audition. Only a man's man will save us.
...
For their first debate, Democrats traveled to an all-black college in South Carolina, where they were greeted by the vibrant gyrations of a step marching band. It was a place of the people, noisy, confusing, teeming with humanity. Republicans, by contrast, chose the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library, a stucco-sided monument to masculinity. The public was not permitted past the front gate. Protesters had to rent a prop plane, which circled overhead, dragging a banner ....
...
Giuliani continues to poll well nationally, but land mines await. In perhaps the most jarring moment of the debate, the candidates called one-by-one for the reversal of Roe v. Wade, which guarantees women the option of abortion. Then the question got to Giuliani. "It would be OK," he said of reversing Roe, heretically noncommittal. [Emphasis added.] Later he used the language of Democrats. "I would respect a woman's right" to an abortion, he said.

In the spin room, Giuliani's own pollster, Ed Goeas, estimated that about one in five Republican primary voters will not support a pro-choice candidate. His senior advisor, Jim Dyke, acknowledged that a Giuliani victory could redefine the party. ... All this places a heavy burden on the former New York mayor. For him to win, he will have to change the politics of abortion as we know it. He will have to revamp the GOP. A trick like that could make winning in Iraq look easy.
...
MSNBC's Chris Matthews, the moderator of the debate, gave some opening remarks and then abandoned the candidates to wait. ... The Republican field was on its own. It was make or break time, the end of the beginning of the campaign season. They had to take a deep breath and face the cameras like the men they wanted so much to be.

- By Michael Scherer

From Posted Letters about this article:

Father Figures

Mr. Scherer is correct -- perhaps more correct than he knows -- when he refers to the Republican candidates as father figures.

For anyone attempting to understand the mindset of Conservatives and Liberals, there is nobody more helpful than George Lakoff. His book, "Moral Politics: How Liberals and Conservatives Think," is a gem of clarity.

Well, the progressive worldview is modeled on a nurturant parent family. Briefly, it assumes that the world is basically good and can be made better and that one must work toward that. Children are born good; parents can make them better. Nurturing involves empathy, and the responsibility to take care of oneself and others for whom we are responsible. On a larger scale, specific policies follow, such as governmental protection in form of a social safety net and government regulation, universal education (to ensure competence, fairness), civil liberties and equal treatment (fairness and freedom), accountability (derived from trust), public service (from responsibility), open government (from open communication), and the promotion of an economy that benefits all and functions to promote these values, which are traditional progressive values in American politics.

The conservative worldview, the strict father model, assumes that the world is dangerous and difficult and that children are born bad and must be made good. The strict father is the moral authority who supports and defends the family, tells his wife what to do, and teaches his kids right from wrong. The only way to do that is through painful discipline — physical punishment that by adulthood will become internal discipline. The good people are the disciplined people. Once grown, the self-reliant, disciplined children are on their own. Those children who remain dependent (who were spoiled, overly willful, or recalcitrant) should be forced to undergo further discipline or be cut free with no support to face the discipline of the outside world.

The above is from an interview Lakoff did for the Berkeley US News.
-- J. Mandel

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Family portrait


Happy family. This is a picture of my brother and his family, which I took recently. It's amazing how they all have their own unique personalities and yet come together so well.

They are, from left to right, Damian, Laura, Nate, Devereux, and in front, Nathan.

It's one of those "treasure those moments because they'll be gone before you know it." But for now, life is all about youngsters growing into teenagers....