respect for individual rights and dignity

The following is from a great site I found on the inner child (just so you know it's not me, but what I would write if I could).

For all of the so called progress of our modern societies, we still are far behind most aboriginal cultures in terms of respect for individual rights and dignity in some kind of balance with the good of the whole. (I am speaking here of tribal aboriginal societies - not urbanized ones.) Nowhere is this more evident in terms of our relationship to our children.

Modern civilizations - both Eastern and Western - are no more than a generation or two removed from the belief that children were property. This, of course, goes hand in hand with the belief that women were property. The idea that children have rights, individuality, and dignity is relatively new in modern society. The predominant and underlying belief, as it has been manifested in the treatment of children, has been that children are extensions of, and tools to be used by, their parents.

A very telling insight into the basic beliefs underlying Western attitudes towards children is shared by inner child pioneer Alice Miller in her book The Drama of The Gifted Child. She shares how the 19th Century German Philosophers who laid the groundwork for modern psychology, emphasized the importance of stamping out a child's "exuberance." In other words, a child's spirit must be crushed in order to control them.

Children are to be seen and not heard. Spare the rod and spoil the child.

It is only in very recent history, that our society has even recognized child abuse as a crime instead of an inherent right of the parent. The concept of healthy parenting as a skill to be learned is very new in society.

Any society that does not respect and honor individual human dignity, is going to be a society that does not meet the essential needs of it's members. Patriarchal societies, that demean and degrade women and children, are dysfunctional in their essence.

We form our core relationship with our self and with life - and of course with other people - in early childhood in reaction to the messages we get from the way we are treated and the role modeling of the other people in our lives. We then have no training or initiation ceremonies, no culturally approved grieving process, to help us let go of the old programming and learn a different relationship with our self and life. So, we build upon the foundation laid in early childhood.
As adults, we react to the programming of our childhood. To contend that our childhood emotional wounds have not affected our adult lives is ridiculous. To think that our early programming has not influenced the way we have lived is to be in denial to an extreme.

Because societies standards for what constitutes success are dysfunctional, many people can be pointed out who "have risen above" their past to be a success. It is those people, who are supposedly successful, that are running the world. How good a job do you think they are doing?

Disclaimer: Material on this site is presented for informational purposes only. It is not intended to substitute for the judgment of a qualified professional who has examined or is treating any individual patient, client or student.

Coping.org is a Public Service of James J. Messina, Ph.D. & Constance M. Messina, Ph.D., Email: jjmess@tampabay.rr.com ©1999-2008 James J. Messina, Ph.D. & Constance Messina, Ph.D. Note: Original materials on this site may be reproduced for your personal, educational, or noncommercial use as long as you credit the authors and website.

How to Lose Your Fear of Being Fired

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

The risk of being fired is the biggest axe a company or a manager holds over an employee’s head. Yet despite its commonness, we have tacitly accepted the idea that being fired is not only costly and disruptive to employees, their families, and their communities, but is also a shameful thing which should be avoided at all costs. For this reason, many of us will accept untenable conditions at work and go to extraordinary lengths to keep our jobs.

Steps

Adopt a positive attitude that overcomes the threat of being fired. Fear is oppressive and threatening, and it can cause one anxiety over many of one's actions or thoughts. Anxious employees are less productive, because they fear making the wrong decision or saying the wrong thing and because they avoid complaining about any problems they encounter. Moreover, chronic stress hits employees' health hard. Make a resolution that you will not tolerate working in a state of fear.

1. Learn not to feel as if being fired is such a horrible or embarrassing situation. Do not walk around with your head hanging down, fearful that someone will find you sitting in the park instead of being on the job. Many are fired for reasons other than their job performance or ability to function in the office environment. Often being fired is a blessing, as it actually enables you to get out of a rut and find a job more to your liking and better suited to your abilities.
   
2. Understand that many common reasons people get fired are often not as a result of the employee's own faults or behavior . The only major exceptions are situations where a person is fired for harassing or abusive behavior, or if a person has a history of repeatedly being fired or plain lazy and uncooperative. Even then, it is possible for a fired person to get another chance if he or she is confident and can make the appropriate (or strategic) changes in his or her approach to working life. If you are fired for one of the following reasons, you have been unlucky, but preparing for contingencies can help you move forward..
   
   • Personality mismatch - You remained because of the money, but actually you were not happy with the surroundings. The attitudes of the people around you were not compatible with yours. The work was repetitious and became boring, the staff were not friendly and the entire environment was not comfortable. Being fired is probably a blessing, as it frees you to search for employment that is a better match for your experience and personality.
     
   • Skills mismatch - When you applied for the job, you were not fully aware of the full responsibilities of the job or the potential hardships it contained. This might be because the person who hired you did not accurately judge whether your skills and experience would match the job description or was lax in making things clear enough. Another possibility is where the job duties were switched on you after you were hired. If so, while it did not work out, at least you tried. Think positive as you will have better luck elsewhere.
     
   • Refusing to go along - Standing up for your beliefs, refusing to be dishonest or to overlook faulty business practices and being fired for it is not a slur on you; you should be proud for standing up for what is right.
     
   • Downsizing - Thousands of people are downsized every day. It's not their fault. It's an impersonal technique by which companies raise the value of their stock. The company itself may be moving to different countries to lower expenses. In this economic state, it could happen more often. The bosses don't take great pleasure to force a closure of a company with so much history behind it.
     
   • Unreasonable - If you became pregnant or needed to take time off to tend to a sick child, and if you put in a request for a short leave of absence and were fired, it had nothing to do with you. Do not blame yourself. You might even be able to sue the company in this case for job discrimination.
     
   
   
3. Make being fired less of a problem even though it creates more problems. Economic uncertainty is the most difficult result of being fired. Not knowing how you will pay the bills or how to tell the kids you cannot buy them the new computer they wanted can cause many sleepless nights. Suddenly your mortgage payment seems even larger, and you are concerned about your kids' college savings.
   
   • Increase your work options by developing your personal and professional skills and cultivating a solid network.
     
   • Diversify your resources. Increase your investments, start your own business, or organize with the labor movement.
     
   • Keep your consumption as low as you possibly can, so that you’re not 100% dependent on that pay check every month. That means not eating out or going to the movies for awhile. Cultivate healthy and cheap avocations instead, such as hiking, walking, gardening, reading, and getting together with friends to play music. You may even have to give up smoking]]. That probably would be the best thing that could come out of being fired.
     

Tips

Explaining to a prospective employer that you were fired is a lingering concern. If you are ashamed of losing your job or believe that having been fired reflects badly on you, such low self-esteem will be evident in your job interviews. Much better for you to hold your head up high and explain the circumstances exactly, without emotion and factually. Convey an attitude of: “I was fired for X reasons but I have gathered myself together and I move on.” Employers will make an issue out of it if you do not demonstrate the truth, clear facts and a responsible future-projected attitude. Provided you explain it correctly, an employer is more likely to see a person with the right attitude and get-up-and-go needed in the new company, along with someone who has had experience of hardship and moved through it successfully.

• It is not smart to be willing to spend your work life going along with just about anything simply to hang on to a job that isn’t good for you.
  
• Consult a lawyer. Some conflicts at work involve disagreement about what is legal, or whether to follow the law. Whistle blowers who report violations may have legal protections, and may consider raising their concerns outside the normal chain of command. If the conflict arises from a fraud to obtain money from the government, whistle blowers may need to follow special procedures to protect their rights. The False Claims Act requires that whistle blowers with original knowledge of such fraud be the first to file their claim, and refrain from public disclosure of certain information about their claim. Such legal constraints are likely to punish you for whistle blowing and prevent you from helping the public. Because U.S. law focuses on protecting property owners, whistle blower legal protection is poor, and you may consider discreetly directing evidence to a progressive journalist, rather than pursuing legal channels.
  
• If your career field has a heavy turnover you shouldn't be ashamed to move forward with your head held high. You can always explain to future employers that the field had heavy turnover and termination and downsizing were common. Emphasize that you are looking for a career at a stable company where loyalty and good work are appreciated.
  
• If you are in a heavy turnover career or your company has started increasing the number of terminations, you should start looking for something more stable if you fear your job is in danger.
  
• Just because firings are happening all around you it doesn't mean your job is in danger. They may appreciate you more than you think. If morale is low around the company because of layoffs, go to your boss and let them know. Offer to help plan a office party or other morale builder.
  

Sources and Citations

• Positive Sharing Original source of this article. Shared with permission.
  

Article provided by wikiHow, a collaborative writing project to build the world's largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Lose Your Fear of Being Fired. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

what's happening at the u of t

what's happening at work shouldn't happen to a dog. (!!) At a large university in a blue city in a red state, on the third coast........ this is where it's happening...
...in an atmosphere of fear and intimidation.... where I work on the 4th floor of the Sanchez building....

I would rather not be "negative," but I will not ignore the truth or deny it or sugar coat it. What about social justice? Have we all become so numb and complacent and apathetic that we ignore that which we don't want to see? I, more than anyone I know, would much prefer harmony and tolerance. In fact, that's what I work daily for, on a personal basis. With myself. But not all people share my love of harmony. Some prefer greed or power or whatever.....

I usually keep a low profile and stay out of the way (and do a great job under sometimes difficult circumstances), but enough is enough. This is where it's going to come out, since I want to keep my job until I have another one.

How to make money on the internet

This article provides a no-nonsense, bare bones guide to setting up your own money making websites

read more | digg story

Anne Lamott is my fave!

I  love Anne Lamott.  I just finished reading her book, Grace (Eventually), Thoughts on Faith.  Had read Plan B, Traveling Mercies, Operating Instructions, and Bird by Bird.  She is such a gifted writer and sardonic muse.  

I love finding someone who I can relate to.  Well.  Really well.  Of course, I have different circumstances -- a different growing-up, family-of-origin, etc., but I can relate to her non-mainstream view of religion and her attention to the details of living that usually go unnoticed.  And her wonderful and abundant compassion.  For herself as well as others (which is sometimes hard -- we all have been taught to love they neighbor, but the part about loving the self often gets lost or obscured or else we try to love ourselves with food, alcohol, shopping,etc.)   Now, I can't really write about her charms as well as others (who do that for a living), but I can say that I find her funny, cogent , enlightening, uplifting, and confirming.   

To me, she represents the power of the human spirit (I know this is a hack-neyed concept) to take stock, to report with dignity all the infirmities one endures and is aware of, and to trace a path back to the Center -- a place of love and Grace -- where the Spirit directs and guides and we rest in a state of bliss.