This is just to break the inertia of not writing. (At least, that's what is getting me going in writing....)
I read so many other sources online but sometimes hesitate or just plain blank out on what I might want to write about myself. In my blog. I had really high hopes for this blog, but I see that I haven't had a vision or commitment to regular blogging. Which is okay, unless I'm thinking I can "do it all" without a plan. You know, enjoy a good job, maintain good family relations, have fun through hobbies and spending time with friends, etc. Sometimes I try to accomplish a lot doing things I take pride in, such as creating a warm, nurturing home environment, like repairing things around the house, taking care of pets or sick animals, or whatever I'm proud of doing in my life that gives it more meaning. But sometimes the "doing" is just too much and I stop enjoying it and don't even notice it. I'm just going through the motions. And I may not notice it until I realize that I'm depressed, tired, low in energy, dreading what's to come next, etc. Then I need a break. For myself. And it's not always on a schedule.
Lately, I've been feeling like I'm too stretched a lot of the time. I am beginning to learn more about what I need emotionally and what helps me to feel my best. So, I've decided to give myself at least one day a week off, with the phone unanswered and the errands put on hold, when I can just be with myself and my two cats -- whether it's laying around with my pajamas on or checking my email and responding only to what interests me. And I know there are even more options (!). For example, I've begun drawing again. That is something I used to love to do and then I stopped. Pressure from daily life to compete, to shop, to clean, to "improve," to "get" something, plus no one in my corner really encouraging me (which I thought I needed). I am learning that I have to take the initiative, that no one else will probably care as much as I do about whether I take the time to do artistic things or not.
It's a hard lesson because it is hard for me to make art when no one is interested and I'm by myself at the house. It's easy to fall back into old, worn-out routines from childhood where the first (and only) priority was to take care of the house or the wash, or do "practical" housekeeping things ..... anything but taking "personal" time for me and my artistic expression. More on this to come....
[Thanks to Matt Groening for his cartoon. Also thanks to http://positivesharing.com/2006/11/top-5-myths-about-workplace-stress/ for the cartoon from their site. Looks like a good website -- check it out.]
