why I'm writing today and what it's about

I'm not sure yet what I'm going to write about, but have definitely decided to sell my mobile home (about the 13th time), but this time, it's it!

The main reason I think I'm going to write about it is because I seemed to have stalled out on writing about anything else.  Anything at all.  I no longer feel 'news-worthy,' whatever that means.  What it does mean is that every time I thought about writing on my blog, I would think that I didn't really have much to say and that everyone else seemed to have so much more and so many better ways to say it.  So why should I bother? 

I do have something to say, but it's often more complex than just spouting out a short easily-packaged blurb.  So I edit it, ignore the impulse, discount it, muffle it, criticize it, and end up saving my voice for the truly vexing times when I have to vent or I'll just explode. (!)  Meanwhile, life is passing me by and I  mean that the life that consists of consistent blog posts and hopefully increasing readership - that life is passing me by.

Which reminds me that my purpose in writing this blog is not to get fantastic numbers of readers to follow me.  No, that's not it.  My purpose is to be heard, to share my voice, to express myself (as trite as it sounds), and to discover what I've chosen to write about at any given time.  A form of exploration and fun even, for you and me.

I just do want people that do happen to wander by here unexpectedly, to have a good time when they read my post.  That's all.  They don't ever have to visit me again - that's okay.  Of course, I wonder what they thought of it....but I'm content if I can churn out half-way reasonable prose that has the potential to entertain, educate, and enlighten.  Or even just grab your attention, though I mine for depth and seek to go deep.  So I guess I can say that I don't want to grab your attention.  Because when I try to be witty to grab attention, I end up nine times out of ten thinking twice about what I'm going to say and then deciding not to say anything.  Too high a standard.  So let's just be real.  I think that'll work.  Because then if you drop by, and even leave a comment, I'll know it's for what I've written naturally, not what I wrote to try to be like everyone else (witty, cool, famous, etc.).  And even if it's just the dog who pays attention, I'll be out there in the ether somewhere.  Better than inside my strange mind, all cramped up with too many thoughts and no where to go.