Monday, April 23, 2007

musings on grey skies and clay earth

Today I feel like I'm stuck in the earth... and I don't mean in a good way... but mired so to speak in the heaviness of it all - clay mud and grey skies and damp, humid breezes.... There's something so earthy about it and even though I'm a Taurus and that's our stuff, I feel stuck in it somehow... like I can't transcend this earthly plane no more.

My thoughts drop like heavy raindrops into a too-wet, swampy earth. And though there are a myriad of plants (and adventures) awaiting, I am glued to the spot and feel more in common with the common housefly than with the wingéd imagination of Mercury or the blazing glory of Zeus. Not that I *should* be tracing the heavens in a silver chariot, but the thought has always gotten me out of bed before .... now my feet are lead and my head is cotton-puffy and my enigmatic expression due to a practiced persona rather than anything particulary intelligent going on inside my head.

Ah well, it's a void-of-course moon and that means that the energies are good for napping, answering email, getting caught up on things, etc. So I'm in good company. Plus it's always helpful to have time to digest the experiences of one's life, rather than always rushing down the lane from one adventure to the next. How else can we understand the forces at work? How else can we feel properly? Certainly not from overexposure to TV, radio, traffic, office gossip, etc. From overexposure, all we get is an automaton. Someone who "obeys their thirst," as the slogan goes, but which really means a media-constructed id personality who solely desires to fulfill that need (constructed by the media) for that brand of soft drink. Yuucchhh!

Where is the "soft animal of your body"? (Mary Oliver) Where is the one-who-knows in all this? Definitely not sipping on one of hundred available advertised brands of soft drink, that's for sure. But to feel what you feel and know what you know - now that's not something easily co-modified, not so easily translated, not so easily packaged, not so easily consumed. In fact, we often choke on the truth, or start to. But I'll tell you one thing, the truth is ultimately palatable in the most desirable way. It can change your life. It can open your eyes. It can make you free as the saying goes. Just take it with a shot of trust, because it will go down easier. So I guess my post today is about trusting. Trusting what shows up in your life, even if it's not what you wanted, not what you asked for, not what you would even recognize on an ordinary day. But one which you do eventually recognize on an unusual day - one like today.

My truth? What today is about? All things change. I'll have to work up to specifying. Broad, general strokes, philosophically rendered, will have to do today. See you next time.

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